Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dignity is for republicans.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
