I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
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An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
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He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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