You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
BRING THE BAGELS
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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