the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
