my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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