What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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