i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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