are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize