it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
