sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
