I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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