I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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