im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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