Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
