i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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