haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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