exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I think my moral compass just broke
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