Farmville is her only friend.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize