All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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