i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
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I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
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My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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