why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
