I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
