I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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