Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
