Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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