OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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