Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize