New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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