Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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