Three words: puerto rican gang bang
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
