Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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