I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize