my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
