we have officially lost it.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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