its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
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Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize