I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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