That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
