my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize