Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize