Nicole vs. Life
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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