is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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