i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
