The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
