Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
