it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
