did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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