69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
