dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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