Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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