During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
