Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
