this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just found puke in my bra..
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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