ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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