Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Houston, we have a blender
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
