Got a toothbrush?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You are the jesus of drinking
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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