Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
