"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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