i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
