Welp...herpes.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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