that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
In America we eat man semen.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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