Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
