Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
