Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
