woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
