you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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