"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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