i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
50% drunk capacity currently
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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