Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
So squirting runs in the family.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
