she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
worst night to have a conscience
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
