he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
