This girl is more easily done than said...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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