Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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