You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize