i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
