I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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